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"DEFINING WOMEN"
The most frequent comment we receive from you is this question: How does one go about becoming a "self-defined" woman?
Answer: Since
you are asking the question, you have already started. Continue on
by becoming aware of what is all around you. Examine
how your male dominated and controlled culture has defined ALL women. Think
about the programming you received growing up and how that programming
has continued and been reinforced. Study how you have judged other
women and men by the standards established by that culture and how you
allow yourself to be judged by both women and men. Evaluate those
habitual standards and see if they are valid. 
Fiona Apple raised more than a few eyebrows with her acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards. Named best new artist, Apple told her fans in part: "You shouldn't model your life about what you think that we think is cool and what we're wearing and what we're saying, and everything. Go with yourself."
The following are cues to illicit your specific response based on your personal programming. They are for you to accept or reject or build on or add to.
Mr. = master; Mrs. = master's slave; Ms. = my self. Self identity is as important as freedom. Miss stands alone, is insignificant, was not chosen, i.e. missed and defective. What's in a name? Are "sir" names the only ones that count?
Human forms or body types are many and varied. Both women and men are tall, short, thin, fat, muscular, weak, tan, brown, red, black or white. Why then is it only the woman's body that must be "enhanced" or "covered up" or "eliminated?" If you think that looking good in cloths is why you dress to the dictates of a male-decreed, female fashion then you are letting someone other than yourself define you.
Anorexic, bulimic and even male steroids! Never mind the health risk -- just look at this great bod!
Body hair occurs in both genders. It has a specific purpose which is the same for both genders. Why is it O.K. for males -- even facial hair, but the sight of underarm or leg hair on a woman an anathema?
There has never been a war fought, a global weather crisis or a disease caused by a bad hair day.
We are all influenced by both women and men. What we need most of all is to be aware of this and how it affects our thinking. In a previous article, we mentioned how the G.O.P. was telling its members to soft pedal the issue of D&E's which places restrictions on a woman's human right to the medical treatment that she and her doctor agree upon. Well that was true at the time, but it angered the powerful political/religious (made in the image of) wing of the party who are coming to the next meeting of the R.N.C. insisting that "their will be done." Watch that debate as it will separate the fundamentalists from the pragmatists and give you a great voters guide to boot.
Also note how you may be affected by some commercials that are starting to air on T.V. One that we saw recently featured two or three women, pissing and moaning over how terrible it was to kill babies. "Oh, do people really do that? It is such a terrible thing. How can we allow that to happen, etc." ad nauseum. Note the programming for women in this and how there is nothing about why such a procedure should be available for a woman's health and/or life -- just pathos and disinformation.
Another interesting thing going on that we noted is the media coverage being given to a woman's support group for "mothers staying home where they belong with their children and just loving it" called (get this!) FEMALE. My, how positive the media is. It fairly gushes approval. Tons of quotes from these mothers saying, "how great it is to stay home with my children, etc." Interesting that there is a need for "support" for women who are submitting to the male culture's requirement for happiness and fulfillment. Hey, we ALL support their right to choose.
But, not one word about how it should be a woman's choice or that some women MUST work. Any of you remember when we women started moving out of the home into the workplace? Not much support from the media for that, just condemnation for being "F-word-ists". Message here is clear -- control.
Our message is: WITH CHOICE, WE HAVE CONTROL.
1998-001
Copyright 1998 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: twanda@ConnRiver.net.
G e n d e r G a p p e r s T M
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