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DECEIT,
DISHONOR, DECEPTION AND DISHONESTY
Our title does not refer to President Clinton and the current media hype and reports or leaks from his Grand Jury testimony. Our focus is on a by-product.
If it is revealed that he lied about an affair it may be that he was saving his own butt or upholding a woman's honor (the chivalry thing) -- whatever.
We still believe that personal, uncoerced, relations between consenting adults is nobody's business. Marital infidelity may be charged by a spouse, but is none of our business. We voted for a president, not a saint.
However, a by-product of this brouhaha concerns us. We refer to the massive reinforcement of old definitions of womankind brought about by Tripp, Goldberg and Lewinski. Their actions will continue to define women as untrustworthy, false and unreliable.
"Continue to define," because this was our past before our movement brought us toward legal parity with the gender who formerly defined us as shallow, deceitful, subtle and untrustworthy.
A toast commonly given in Colonial America was, "Our land free, our men honest, our women fruitful."
Men had honor as in "a man's word is his bond" or "greater love has no man then giving up his life for a friend."
Few men would ever betray another man, record his confidences or criticize another man's personal life.
But we women have just begun forging our honor systems; creating our own image and learning to bond with each other to strengthen our emerging cultural constructs.
The difficulties have been, and still are, enormous. We are rewarded for breaking trust with each other; we often may face punishment for character traits we wish to strengthen in ourselves such as honesty, loyalty, honor and courage.
So, why is it that after four years and some $40 million, of all the charges made of illegality against the President, the only thing that has shaken out is the sex "zipper gate" charge?
Especially
since men throughout the ages differ over many things, but most have always
agreed that it is a universal right for a man to occasionally have "a
little something on the side."
Since our culture has declared that infidelity is O.K. for males, a guy may maintain a home and family but still sneak around and keep his love affairs under wraps -- lying becomes part of the game. Seinfeld is correct. Everyone lies about sex.
But women are not supposed to. Women are to remain faithful. Infidelity is a woman's crime and the perpetrator is known as a slut. The Starr chamber -- allegations and leaks and reports to Congress -- is not about sex and lying, it is not about perjury, it is about politics.
It is about appealing to women. IT IS ABOUT CLOSING THE GENDERGAP.
It is about turning women against liberal candidates. The rational, according to the conservative election strategists, is that women feel vulnerable in marriage, and if a highly placed public male can get away with it then their own husbands and boyfriends can.
But as a political strategy, it just won't work. We've come a long way this century in understanding and knowledge and they can no longer manipulate us through our emotions.
We've learned that religion and law have always allowed male infidelity and that neither religion nor law protects us from it. Marriage and legal contracts may get us a divorce or child support, but they will not and never have stopped infidelity.
The only thing that does is two people who commit to each other and keep to that commitment.
So we women won't be fooled into turning against a president or a party that has been supportive of us and our movement.
We do, however profoundly regret that Lewinski, Goldberg and Tripp are featured as poster girls representing the character of our gender while the real representatives of our movement and character are ignored.
Women Helping Battered Women; teachers; doctors; Women's Clinics; Planned Parenthood; supportive police officers and lawyers, women's sports, women in the military and all the women and groups that support, work and believe in our movement.
1998-034
Copyright 1998 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: twanda@ConnRiver.net.
G e n d e r G a p p e r s T M
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