RECOMMENDED
        RESOLUTIONS FOR '99

        We wish our readers all the best in this, the last year before the much touted Y2K meltdown and other assorted horrors.

        At this traditional time to make resolutions, we've decided to make this our First Annual Make A Rez Recommendations.

        Feel free to send them on to the politicians, media, or whomevers of your choice. 

        Don't forget the 13 white-guyz on the House Judiciary Committee (now prosecuting Clinton in Senate) at judiciary@email.house.gov.  We want them to know that we, the voters, are thinking of them and that we'll never forget them.

          Senate Majority Leader, Trent Lott

        We hope that you will RESOLVE not to provide propaganda for Iraq's Saddam again.

        We remind you that "giving aid and comfort to the enemy" is treason.  Incidentally, Senator, treason does rise to the level of an impeachable offense.

          The House Democrats, less 5

        Watching all of you stick together was one of the miracles of the ages.  Independence is a hallmark of Democrats, but you fought the tide of habit to battle the passing of articles that clearly did not rise to the level of Impeachment.  <CHEERS>

        Please, RESOLVE that you will not rest on your laurels.  Come back to D.C. with the same cooperative can-do spirit.  Come back with plans and energy to tackle the difficult tasks of saving social security, patients rights, the tobacco bill, the campaign finance law, to name just a few.

          The House Republicans, less 5

        We ask that you RESOLVE to finally GET IT.  It is no accident that your impeachment train, instead of rolling over President Clinton, rolled over you.  If, as you reiterate so often, "perjury is perjury," why was one of your perjury charges dropped along with the "abuse of power" charge?

        How could anyone vote for an Article charging obstructing justice after dumping an Article charging abuse of power?  Are you saying that you are allowed to split hairs but the President is not?

        We ask that you RESOLVE in the coming year to work for the good of the American People instead of just for yourself and your far right constituents.

          Molly Ivins -- a big plus for Texas

        You are a breath of clean, fair and refreshing air blowing away a sea of political pundit's bull sh*t.  Please RESOLVE to just keep on keepin' on.  We love you.

          Tom Delay -- a big minus for Texas

        You've made such a donkey's rear end of yourself ever since you called for Clinton's impeachment right after he got elected.  Since then, you've used your post as Majority Whip to whip up hatred for the President in others.

        We suggest that you RESOLVE to quit: spreading unproven allegations; lobbying the Senate; meanmouthing the environment protection people and instead, educate yourself about the horrors of D.D.T. instead of advocating its return.  <Bronx cheer>

        Or, just butt out and let your state send a Representative of the people to the House.

          CNN -- "all Monica all the time"

        We checked you out with our own poll and "little list" during this season of "Christian tolerance and forgiveness."  It seemed that you and your pundits were hell-bent to direct the American people to reject their deeply held values and beliefs of fairness.

        You are at your *best* when you give us actual, real time news coverage.  You are at your *worst* when you "interpret it" and tell us what we should think about it.  In other words, leave the propaganda to Herr Goebbels.

        We ask that you RESOLVE to bring balance to your reports.  Give us the facts, not your mostly erroneous conclusions.  The disconnect you speak of is YOURS -- with reality. Jeff Greenfield and Frank Sesno could learn a lot about balanced reporting by listening to Chris Black or Ron Brownstein.

        You want all of us, like those of the Rychus Right, to point with derision at Clinton's confessed sin while covering up all of your own unzipped flys.  RESOLVE in the future to give us the facts, not just your opinions.

        Everyone "spins," not just the White House as you always report.  And the worst spinner of all is your Howie Kurtz.  RESOLVE that if you use the word spin when reporting news from the White House that you use it when you report news from other areas of politics.

        Know this: the Democrats spin, the Republicans spin, the media spin and even GenderGappers spin.

        Here's a few notes from our poll to help flatten your learning curve for '99.

        • While other news providers stated that many people cheered our President as he came out of church on the Sunday before Christmas, you reported only that one person cursed him and told him to resign.

        • Despite thousands of signs all over the country urging the President NOT to resign or urging the Senate NOT to convict, you featured only one huge banner which urged conviction and you showed it over and over and over.  Why didn't you show at least one of the "Impeach Starr" or "Impeach Hyde" banners?

        • As Molly Ivins told you in an interview, your pundits (among others) stank up the air with erroneous predictions all year long.  Yet you continue to give airtime to dimwits who ham it up and get it wrong.  Deep six the "Carlson Clowns."  Enough, already.

        • Again and again your message is that the President, even if not convicted, has lost all moral authority and Congress will not work with him, etc.  What tripe.  You said the same thing before the last two elections.

        • Your pundits claim that one reason the Republicans voted to impeach was because of Clinton's written answers to their questions. A judgment sans facts based on opinions sans facts.  Does youthful Indiscretion" Hyde and his 13 rightwingnuts write your scripts?


          • The Gang of 100

        It's in your lap now, gals and guys of the U. S. Senate.  What you SAY as much as what you DO can hurt or heal your country, your fellow Americans and yourselves.

        Just because we don't buy the rhetoric of the irreligious right doesn't mean we aren't paying attention.

        We suggest that you all RESOLVE to "judge not, lest you be judged" for your indiscretions.  Remember that "people who live in glass houses should not throw stones" at the voters who put you there.

        Twanda@ConnRiver.net

        1999-001

        Copyright 1999 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: twanda@ConnRiver.net.

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