"STICKS AND STONES..."

Well, it really wasn't all that surprising to find a site on the Web promising all sorts of interesting subjects for GIRLS that had a button labeled: "Chick Chat."  Not only that, but included was a long explanation of why it was "O.K." to call girls "chicks."

The authors invited other opinions on the subject via e-mail.  Some of the replies they got were eye openers and should have caused the authors to rename the chat.  Other replies agreed with the authors.

In essence, their argument states that it does not matter what one is called.  If it is derogatory, just use the nasty word yourself on yourself and you take the sting out of it.

This argument is becoming more and more prevalent in our society as consideration and kindness towards others succumbs to "gotchas" -- the nastier the better.  Regarding women, P.C. is conveniently dead.

The argument just does not hold up.  We learn and internalize words and their meaning before we even start to talk.  One has only to witness a child flinching from the blow that some words cause in order to realize this.

As we grow older and begin to voice resentment to these words that torture or mock us, we are said to be, "too sensitive" and "can't take a joke."  So we learn it is best just to try not to react outwardly, but we all know what these blows make our insides feel like.

How then can we make the hurt go away by taking the very sticks that the bully-boys have been clubbing us with and then using them on ourselves?  We've been conditioned to the meaning of these words and they still register in our minds and bodies.

Some women even come to accept them as their due, just as hostages develop a relationship with their captor or women with their batterers, they believe that they deserve the abuse.

We all have heard words-clubs, either used against us or in our presence.  "Fatty" and all its synonyms is universal.  Then there are such common slurs as "ugly," "four eyes," "jug ears," "tom-boy" and the racial and ethnic words.  All are examples of ways children may inflict pain; exercise their superiority or act out their parent's prejudices.

And early on, derogatory sexual words are evident.  "Bitch" leads the pack.  Perhaps it is because it has become so common.  We won't make a list, you all know what they are but it should be understood that most or all of them are derogatory toward women.

Most or all of them reduce womankind to the status of a young, vulnerable animal, food, or worse, a part of our anatomy.  Case in point is this revelation from the article found in Salonmagazine.com about the "Texas Marlboro Man", titled PRODIGAL SON, by Jake Tapper:

From there it's only a step to "kitten," "CHICK," "heifer" or "bird."  That these may be words of approval or said in an admiring way is NOT the point.  This becomes obvious when you understand that if you are not approved of you become the adult animal -- "dog," "cat," "hen," "cow," and if you dared to be taller than the male, "horse" or "moose."

Just another way to further train us to stay young forever.  Just another reminder that we have no value other than what our culture has decreed.  

Only 9 years ago, Susan Faludi published her landmark book, BACKLASH -- The Undeclared War Against American Women.  Over time, that backlash has become a full frontal attack as media entertainers compete with each other to be the first to introduce still more negative names for our gender.

These shock-jocks maintain that they insult everyone, female or male.  BUT, we have never heard them say the N word or call a black man "BOY."

In addition to negative names used, is the continued pressure to banish women from adult human beings back to their former role as sexual objects.

Don Imus, who regularly interviews some of the top correspondents of N.B.C. television news, may insult a male guest by calling him "a weasel" or a "pantload," and the conversation is rife with thinly veiled or openly rank penile references.

When the guest is female, sexual innuendo ends as she is challenged directly and openly with blatantly foul questions and comments on her sex life.

Recently, Imus has named the new heifers on his farm after these top female correspondents. They claim that they"are honored."  What else can they say?  To object is to be "too sensitive" or "can't take a joke or a compliment."

We do NOT believe that all these women are quislings to our movement but rather that they realize it is the price they must pay for continued success.  But if women at the top of their profession are subjected to this kind of treatment -- AND THEY TAKE IT -- what does that TELL us?  Where does that LEAVE US?

This continuing banishment of women back to their former role as objects, brought us some frightening memories from the past.  Memories that had surfaced with the reports of rape and murder in the Kosovo situation.

Remember, if you are old enough, the Nazi slogan: KINDER, KIRCHE AND KUCHE!  [Kids, Kirk (church) and Kitchen!]

This KKK slogan was adopted by the Nazis to PROMOTE INEQUALITY BETWEEN THE GENDERS.

"Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us."  NOT TRUE.  Words have, can and will continue to hurt us, especially when we use them against ourselves and other women, and when we allow such insulting language against our gender to continue.

Twanda@ConnRiver.net

1999-016

Copyright 1999 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: twanda@ConnRiver.net.

G e n d e r G a p p e r s   ^{T M}