SAUCE FOR THE GANDER

We are used to seeing our gender reduced to food labels, just as we've run the gamut of animal and bird designates.  It appears that many males have difficulty seeing women as human beings and perhaps this is just another way of making a non-male entity different, thereby less like themselves.

Whatever the reason for this labeling, "sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander" and la sauce, c'est tout!  Therefore, we intend to be as saucy as possible as we examine four of the presidential candidates under the microscopic metaphor of food.

* The first entree delivered for our inspection is a steaming "Brace of Pheasant" emitting a piquant odure-du-game that lingers on the palate of our memories of the past.  For years, Bill Bradley thrilled the fans on the basketball courts with his abilities as a gamesman.  Now, after years of playing the Senate game, he has presented himself as a candidate for the presidential game.

His supporters come from many aspects of the sports world.  Those that were fortunate enough to watch him play in his heyday (or is his heyday yet to come?) have shown their approval by contributing heavily to his campaign coffers.  Such a rare dish is also appreciated by independent thinkers who commend a person that believes his religion (or lack of it) is his own business.  A gamy enough dish but bland -- could do with more spicing.

*A sip of wine to clear the palate, a nod to the servers and on comes two waiters carrying a huge tray.  Jutting upward from the tray are several huge rib bones.  What we have here is a "Standing Rib Roast" -- looks delicious, but in the words of that old commercial, "Where's the beef?"  Bush would answer, "It's in my leadership demonstrated by nearly two terms as the gov of Texas."  Yet, under Bush, Texas is headed toward environmental disaster and it leads all other states in child poverty.  That's leadership?

In Texas, they say G.W. is all hat and no cattle -- but whatta hat!  Contributions ranging in the hundreds of thousands collected by daddy's millionaire friends has allowed Dubya to own the horn of plenty.  Plenty of money, resources and advertising.  But all that plenty does not cover up a man who does not read, and who has not cared to learn even a little about the world and its people.  The bare bones of his intellect tell the story and no amount of condiments can disguise it.

* Moving right along now since there was so little to digest in the last entree, the table is cleared and a huge skillet is placed in the middle.  A server appears and starts to ladle out portions of "Red Flannel Hash."  A very hearty dish, it excels in batting clean up.  Basically it contains ground up beets, potatoes, onions, any kind(s) of meat and... the size of the skillet is the only limit.  Moistened with milk and eggs, it is seasoned to taste and baked.

It's got everything -- purity, body and flavor -- just like Al Gore.  Al has nearly eight years of on-the-job training because President Clinton gave him a much wider latitude to learn than any other president has ever given a VP.  This all contributes to a veritable smorgasbord of ability, experience and know-how.  Add to all this the flavoring of a person who has proven himself to be a champion of human rights for all and A STANCH DEFENDER OF WOMEN'S REPRODUCTIVE FREEDOM.

* Time out to loosen the belt, take a nap and run around the block a few times before sitting down to a bowl of "Red Hot Chili."  Now here's a meal to warm you up from the inside out. Full of beans and hot, hot, hot-tempered spice, this chili has the reputation for upsetting stomachs and giving republicans a permanent heartburn.  Often called "a real man's food," it takes several measures of a cold liquid to wash it down.

This dish really fits John McCain's character to a tee considering his reputation for being quick to anger and hot to reform the way things are done in the government.  There is no doubt of his sincerity or of his regard for his progenitors -- his MALE progenitors.  Like his fellow real men or alpha males, as they like to be called, he severely limits the importance of women in his genesis.  This is also reflected in his opposition to women's reproductive choice.

So there you have it.  Eat, drink and be sure to vote -- you won't have much to be merry about if an anti-choice entree becomes president.

And while you are still thinking of food, think about how our culture encourages girls and women to starve themselves for approval.  Think how this adversely affects girls in their formative years when they may endanger their health and lives to emulate skeletal super models.  Think about the twin evils of bulimia and anorexia (see URLs listed at end).

A beautiful woman died last week.  Hedy Lamarr made many movies and was feted for her glamour.  She left moviegoers of her era much to remember, she also left us this quote:

[to experience some of the forces exerted on our children, go to the following URLs that not only show you pictures but also tell you what you can do about eliminating this vicious cycle. Calvin Klein ads at http://www.talkintrash.com -- also check out: http://www.about-face.org]

twanda@together.net  

2000-004

Copyright 2000 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: twanda@together.net.

G e n d e r G a p p e r s   ^{T M}