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FATHERHOOD - THE BADDADS
We just finished reading a column by Mona Charen that bemoaned the "dumbing down of America." She thinks that all our stupidity stems from not teaching the works of the classical writers of yore. Sure, there are many great and inspiring works from these dead white guys, but they reinforce an epoch and customs that are injurious to our whole society - the denigration of women.
It is fitting to examine this more closely since Father's Day is only a short time away, but more importantly, in light of the continued and increasingly virulent campaign of those who would turn back the clock on women's progress - the Baddads.
Before we go any further, a caveat. There are many great fathers out there that SHOULD BE HONORED. They are the men who raise their daughters the same way they raise their sons: to be competent, strong, self-reliant and courageous instead of weak, dependent and fearful. They may parent cooperatively with their wives (the mothers) or as a single parent, and they contribute to the continued advancement of equality for the genders. This article is NOT about them.
Today, we're writing of the anti-woman entities that populate the WEB under many names, writing books and articles extolling father's rights or initiatives. A common denominator of their agenda is: women (mothers) are faulted, men (fathers) are seen as victims and a rather sick insistence that fathers are ESSENTIAL IN THE PROPER REARING OF THEIR DAUGHTERS.
According to them, unless a father is present for their upbringing, girls cannot achieve a "proper" feminine status and relationship to their male "protectors" that they engage with during their life. The type of "model woman" that they espouse is essentially the same "model woman" written of and extolled by the dead white guys of yore. Of course back then, the term was "a proper lady" and she wouldn't even think of believing she could protect herself.
The web sites inform us that women are wrong to "deprive" their children of a father under any conditions. They give no credence to the fact that there are mothers who are guarding their children from a father who has molested them in the past. Baddads also claim that a surrogate "father" is incapable of fulfilling the fatherhood role. Their demand is that women take these abusive/molesting men back into their children's lives because only the father can give a daughter what she needs.
In fact, they suggest that women are lying about the reprehensible conduct of a husband so they can get rid of him. This charge is similar to their campaign of a few years ago that filled the media with charges that psychologists and psychiatrists were "convincing women falsely" that they were victims of their own father's unwanted sexual attention when they were children.
Why
do these people wish to perpetuate the idea that women are helpless and
unable to exist on their own when there are countless examples that women
have the capacity to be just as capable as men? The answer may be found
in the men's
religions that always put the female in a subordinate position to the
male. And the name of that game is CONTROL.
This year, the Southern Baptists are postulating that women are not fitted to be pastors/ministers. So who is surprised at this pronouncement from the folks who last year gave us, "women must be subordinate to their husbands"?
There are many women who enjoy and delight in a position subordinate to men. There are others who have never been able to escape from it. However, more women than ever are proving to themselves and others that they are capable, strong human beings, defining themselves and determining the direction of their lives. Furthermore, they exult in their "becoming."
One interesting indication of this is the massive popularity among women, world wide, of the T.V. movies portraying the exploits of Xena -- Warrior Princess and her sidekick, Gabrielle. They are two very strong and resourceful adult females. Fans of this series range from young girls to women in their 90's, and perhaps even beyond! It is difficult to determine the number of "closet Xena watchers" but there is some indication in the masses that "come out" on lists in the Xenaverse and at conventions.
The very fact that the appeal of Xena crosses all boundaries of country, education, profession, class, income, sexual preferance and age proves that women are tuning in and turning on. The ever increasing evidence that their gender is strong and competent; that they are capable and smart; that they are human beings equal to men thrills them.
The Baddaddys better take note. THIS Genie will not go back in the bottle and quietly wait for "her Prince to come" and rescue her. She's fed up with "tumbling after" Jack -- being so insignificant that her injuries aren't even worth mentioning.
The most common reason given by women who are asked why they watch Xena is: "SHE kicks ass" - the modern metaphore for SELF RELIENCE. Baddaddy, your little girl is all grown up now and she's wise to you - and herself!
2000-022
Copyright 2000 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: twanda@gendergappers.org.
G e n d e r G a p p e r s T M
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