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- G e n d e r G a p p e r s T M
HAVING IT ALL
| These days we
notice that a lot of news items and columns by big time reporters feature
women who unhappily admit that they cannot have it all. They are tired
and sick from trying to run a business
or their job plus dealing with the incessant demands of home, husband and
children. The conclusion always being that women can't hack it and shouldn't
even try to have it all.
Just once we'd like to see those big time columnists write about men not being able to have it all either. This wasn't always the case. It's only been true for a relatively few years. Before the turn of the 20th Century, men had all the power and all the glory and women had nothing. Women had few if any rights and were subject to the will of males -- father, brothers or husband. Their children did not even belong to them and there was little in the law that supported any legal redress for injury. The laws were (and to some extent still are) written for men by men in men's language. A man was more than head of household, he reigned supreme. He could rape or beat up his wife or children at will. Women who begged for help from the leaders of so-called "compassionate religions" were told that beatings were their fault and they must obey their husbands. So a man owned his dwelling, his woman who took care of it and his children -- especially him. He had work if he chose to, and whether he spent his pay for his family or beer or whores or the ponies was solely up to him. And it was not only the law that supported his right to have it all. His religion made it de rigor. His religion made him a Supreme Being. Solely because he, like Jesus Christ, Allah, Buddha (or any other God) possessed a certain anatomic appendage that has many names, both proper and scurrilous. In the TV series, Allie MacBeal, a character named Ling refers to it as the dumb stick. Whatever you want to call it, the penis has defined men's right-to-superiority and privilege throughout history -- until recently. Way behind the times by several centuries are religious establishments that have protected themselves from intrusion, inspection and revision by excluding women. There the dumb stick remains supreme as the whole holy order has conspired to cover up the sexual crimes against women and children that have been going on for eons. For a relatively short time now, women have insisted on equal rights and gradually some of the laws have been changing. This does not always mean that women benefit from these new laws but it does give them opportunities to present their case in law. The greatest equalizer, of course, was winning the right to vote. The last century brought changes in the life of most men because under the law now, a wife is no longer a slave but a partner. She has equal say in the raising of children and although he may long for the good old days some of his choices, that used to be supported by the law, can now land him in jail. The upshot of all that has happened in the 20th Century is that men can no longer have it all either. This fact should be disseminated widely and applied especially to the knee-jerk response of the Bush-men-of-war to 9/11. (Colin Powell apparently is the exception.) Using the excuse of wartime expediency, the power structure of the government eliminated women from its ranks. It closed the powerful males into a circle of secrecy that defied the checks and balances set up by our Constitution. It legitimized the Neanderthal reactions of a dictatorial "band of brothers."
The power of the dumb stick lives on in male-exclusive governments as well in male-exclusive religions. One has only to look at the lineup and the attitude of the Bush-men-of-war to confirm this. When there are dumb heads as well as dumb sticks involved we are doomed to repeat history instead of learning from it. 2002-018
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