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- With that kind of attitude, the Bushies can use some more favorable publicity, even if they have to invent it themselves, which is precisely what they intend to do. We eagerly await the forthcoming BULL reports explaining:
·Why the Bushies have torn up international treaties and disregarded U.N. conventions.- ·Why they ignored the Near East until all hell broke loose.
- ·Why they ignored all of the pre-9/11 warnings.
- ·Why they are ready to violate the nuclear test ban treaty.
- ·Why they make their own rules unilaterally for their treatment of POWs.
- ·Why they are not fulfilling America's commitments to third world women.
- Especially, we look forward to their explanation of why America is about to invade another country in a first strike to kick out its leader. On this one, wouldn't it be great if they actually let "W" give his opinion on war?
- G e n d e r G a p p e r s T M
BUSH DOES BALDERDASH
 The
World is holding its collective breath at the recent announcement from
the White House. Apparently it has been noted that many countries (including
many Americans) are not tendering the love and adoration toward America
that the Bushies think they should.
Since the Bushies know that they have done nothing but good acts and arrived at perfect solutions for all the problems of the world, it must be that those countries are not paying proper attention. Or perhaps they haven't been listening to Faux News (the Bush Uberalles GuyS -- BUGS), the official cable TV voice of the White House. So a special PR office has been set up to amplify the BUGS message abroad, an alternate cheering squad, if you will. It will be called BULL (Bush Uberalles Lock and Load.) Or as one White House source said, "the dumb furrin bastards need to know who's in charge here." Secretary of State, Colin Powell, immediately announced that the above W.H. source's words did not apply to our great and dear friends of Saudi Arabia. He also said BULL would clearly tell everyone what the U.S. (Bush) had done so they would understand us better and love Dubya like everyone in America does. The first issue of BULL explained in detail how Bush saved the world from annihilation and made life better for a whole country by sending the military into Afghanistan. Upon hearing this news, The Women of Afghanistan, still suffering under most of the same restrictive laws as they were before being saved by Bush, collectively gave a Bronx cheer. What was left of a wedding party and thousands of starving Afghanistani refugees echoed this expression. Osma merely giggled. When the U.S. Navy was granted approval to deploy ships using low-frequency sonar, despite knowing that the system injures whales and other mammals, the Bushies revealed that they had the same total commitment to the world environment they had already demonstrated in their own land. It answered the outrage from around the world with a simple, heartfelt statement: "We own the ocean and we own the whales and all the other crap in it. We have good reason for killing whales, it keeps conservationists busy trying to revive them and gets them off our backs."
However, we expect that the BULL spin on war with Iraq will, as usual, prevaricate, and be fraught with fearful predictions and unproven allegations. The muzzling of Dubya and his cowboy diplomacy is intended to prevent him from further shots from the hip and angering other countries anew. "Hey, baby -- wars get high poll approval and votes! Bite me." -- W. 2002-033
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