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- G e n d e r G a p p e r s T M
CHICKS OF WAR
 There
really hasn't been much of anything funny in the news lately but the antics
of the media and the politicians have been hilarious. The all-news-all-the-time
cable stations have served up a furious week of never-ending goodies,
as have the eager Karl Rovian political candidates. Seemingly, they are
hung over from their excesses of 9/11 one-year anniversary.
The Rovers and the TV both remind us of chickens. Not the kind that are cruelly held in small cages until they stop laying and are killed, but the kind we call "free range" who are given space to walk around in and have lots of nice bugs to hunt down. These birds are such fun to watch. Whenever one of them finds a particularly exciting bug, it will call loudly for all the others to come and see. Then it quickly snarfs it up before it can be snatched by another chicken. This action perfectly describes the several news conferences, doubtless choreographed by the Karl-hen himself, featuring a breathless Governor Pataki-hen with the deputy Attorney General-hen and FBI Director-hen almost beside themselves with joy. They were flanked by representative members of all the various law-enforcement agencies in New York. Clucking and flapping their wings they invited everyone to come and see the bugs (alleged terrorist cell) they had caught. When they had strutted around for awhile and invited questions from the media-hens, it became apparent that the juicy bugs had all but evaporated. They had arrested 5 guys who had allegedly trained with al Qaeda, but they would share no information with us other than that. All feathers and no drumstick, as Chicken Little might say. What was Pataki doing there, you ask? Here's a hint. Do you think if the Governor had been a Democrat he'd be allowed all that free TV face time with elections in a couple of months? Maureen Dowd writes: "In war, the polls are always jingoistically celestial." Thus spake Karl Rove, who has advised Republicans that they can gain control of Congress by exploiting the war on terrorism. http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/15/opinion/15DOWD.html  And
exploiting the war is the breath of life to Rove. He did learn something
though. This time he kept Ashcroft well away from the preening party. As
the saying goes, "chickens come home to roost" and Ashcroft is
increasingly becoming a liability to the Bushies. No sense getting the
voter's feathers ruffled.
TV cable worked overtime to be first to set up a furious clucking at each and every story-bug they could find. Failing that, they became exceedingly creative and made up whatever interesting story-bugs they thought appropriate. They did an outstanding job of obfuscating the saga of the three medical students and their excellent adventure on their way to Florida. "Friday's coverage was the source of a staggering amount of misinformation." http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/4071560.htmFeathers continued to fly long after the hoax was revealed and the medical students were released. Then Bantam-hen-cowboy Dubya took center stage flapping his wings for his victory laps, claiming credit for what others had done but never accepting the blame for what he failed to do. A chicken hawk, too chicken to fight for his country but hawkish when it comes to sending other people off to fight. http://www.newsmax.com/showinsidecover.shtml?a=2002/9/16/02448 Following a saber rattling speech to the UN, the Bantam-hen-cowboy crowed and swaggered, taunting the Democrats about the November elections, and inflaming the passions of Saddam. Conciliatory actions for peace or any other constructive activity are obviously far beyond his talents -- or his Pan Americana agenda. Disclaimer: No disrespect for hens and chickens is inferred or implied in this piece. We hold these creatures to be one of the noblest of all nature's creations. 2002-039
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