|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GEORGE W. BUSH

RESUME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(originally compiled by Kelly Kramer)
Past
work experience:
- Ran
for Congress and lost.
- Produced
a Hollywood slasher B movie.
http://blog.kynn.com/shock/archive/000505.php
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/listmania/list-browse/-/1UM3XDM0B6FC/qid%
3D1047646066/sr%3Dlmlf-10/ref%3Dbr%5Flmlf%5F%5F10/002-1803067-6672055
- Bought
an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt
shortly after he sold all his stock.
- Bought
the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using
taxpayer money. Biggest move: traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs.
- With
father's help (name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments
as Governor:
- Changed
pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted
state in the nation.
- Replaced
Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.
- Cut
taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed
money.
- Set
the record for most executions by any state governor in American history.
- Became
president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the
help of his father's appointments to the Supreme Court.
Accomplishments
as President:
- Attacked
and took over two countries.
- Spent
the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
- Shattered
the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
- Set
the economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month
period.
- Set
the all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
- First
president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
- First
president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
- First
year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any
president in U.S. history.
- After
taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history.
- Set
the record for most campaign fund-raising trips of any president in U.S.
history.
- In
first two years in office, more than 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
- Cut
unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any other president
in US history.
- Set
the all-time record for most housing foreclosures in a 12 month period.
- Appointed
more convicted criminals to administration positions than any other president
in U.S. history.
- Set
the record for the least amount of press conferences of any American president
since the advent of television.
- Signed
more laws and executive orders violating the Constitution than any other
president in U.S. history.
- Presided
over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene
when corruption causing it was revealed.
- Presided
over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the
national reserves as past presidents have to alleviate the problem.
- Cut
healthcare benefits for war veterans.
- Set
the all-time record for the most people worldwide to simultaneously take
to the streets to protest him (15 million people), shattering the record
for protest against any person in the history of mankind. http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/
- Dissolved
more international treaties than any other president in U.S. history.
- His
presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
- Members
of his cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. (The
poorest multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named
after her.)
- First
president in U.S history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously
about to go bankrupt.
- Presided
over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country
in the history of the world.
- First
president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation
of a sovereign nation at peace.
- Created
the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United
States.
- Set
the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more
than any other president in U.S. history.
- First
president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the United
States from the Human Rights Commission.
- First
president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the United
States from the Elections Monitoring Board.
- Has
interfered with more checks and balances, and has been subject to less
Congressional oversight than any other presidential administration in U.S.
history.
- Rendered
the entire United Nations irrelevant.
- Withdrew
from the World Court of Law.
- Refused
to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war, and by default no
longer abides by the Geneva Conventions.
- First
president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors
(during the 2002 U.S. elections).
- All-time
U.S. (and world) record holder for the most corporate campaign donations.
"ALL TIME!!!"
- Biggest
life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate
bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former C.E.O. of Enron
Corporation).
- Spent
more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
- First
president in U.S. history unilaterally to attack a sovereign nation against
the will of the United Nations and the world community.
- First
president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied
saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).
- First
U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
- Took
the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 911, and in less than a year
made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest
diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
- With
a policy of "disengagement" helped create the most hostile Israeli-Palestine
relations in at least 30 years.
- First
U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%)
view his presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
- First
U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened
by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
- Changed
U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
- Set
the all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated
U.S. "conflict-of-interest" laws by not selling huge investments
in corporations bidding for government contracts.
- Failed
to fulfill his pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive."
- Failed
to capture the [most likely, U.S. resident] anthrax killer who tried to
murder some of the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol
building. After 18 months has no leads and zero suspects.
- In
the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks has successfully prevented any
public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of
the United States.
- Removed
more freedoms and civil liberties from Americans than any other president
in U.S. history.
- In
a little over two years, created the most divided country in decades, possibly
the most divided the U.S. has been since the Civil War.
- Entered
office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two
years turned the direction every single economic indicator heading straight
down.
Records
and References:
- At
least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has
been erased and is not available).
- AWOL
from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war (Viet
Nam).
- Refuse
to take a drug test or answer any questions about drug use.
- All
records of tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to his father's
library, sealed in secrecy and rendered unavailable for public view.
- All
records of any S.E.C. investigations into his insider trading or bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All
minutes of meetings for any public corporation on whose board he served
are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- Any
records or minutes from meetings he (or his V.P.) attended regarding public
energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
|